I’m Still That Girl

On By Annika PerryIn Writing

Today I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to a special lady and close friend – my wonderful Mamma. The following is a poem I wrote in honour of her. As children, we never imagine our parents being a child themselves. Often this will change and I’ve been lucky enough to listen to my mother’s stories of growing up on a small island off the West Coast of Sweden. I know that for her, as for so many of us, that child remains within us. On the actual birthday we are holding a large family party at my home and this is a piece that I will read aloud during the celebrations.

I’M STILL THAT GIRL

I'm still that girl
Hauling wood up the rocks
To build the bookish den
A makeshift table decked with croqueted tablecloth
Shelves jammed into the crevices, already filled with literature.

A private space for my friends and I.

I'm still that girl 
Snuggled up on the sofa bed in the kitchen
Falling asleep to the melody of knitting needles 
The female chatter my lullaby.

I’m still that girl that could never just walk.
Could never understand a slow stroll,
when a  run or a skip were the best forms of motion. 
Walking itself would just not do! 
(Well, apart from Sundays to church of course!)

I’m still that girl
Living life to abundance. 

Spotting a chance to help the family and collect driftwood in the rowing boat, 
why suffice with half-filling the vessel? 
Surely to the brim is the optimal solution. 
Balancing precariously on top of the overladen cargo, 
I row carefully into the harbour.

I’m still that girl 
Standing shoulder to waist with my father, 
picking the seaweed and debris from the fishing nets. 
My agile fingers adept at the task, 
the silent harmony between us speaking volumes.

I’m still that girl
Always wanting to help
Caring for my siblings, four in all, at the tender age of ten! 
How difficult could it be! 
Longing for my parents to enjoy a holiday of their own.

I’m still that girl
Seeking solitude for my thoughts
Seeking meaningful friendships
Seeking purpose, seeking to help others.

I’m still that girl
Twirling in the sun-soaked living room
The rock and roll music filling the space.

All alone! Sheer bliss...

My mother returns early
No words of reproach, just a sweet smile. 

My love of dance and music
never wanes.

A dark clear night beckons
My father leads me to the rocks
Far and high, away from the cosily lit houses.

Above us looms the universe. 
He hands me a box.

I hardly dare breathe as I unwrap 
The gift from the gods, I feel. 
My own telescope.

Together we spend nights mapping the stars,
 precious moments of learning, 
of unity and quiet.

I’m still that girl
With Christmas money tucked safely into my purse, 
Excitement bubbling in my stomach 
the whole  family heads to town.
For hours, I’m enthralled 
by the magical lights, the decorations, the shops.

A chore is anything but taxing and boring
As with enthusiasm we prepare the boat for family holiday.
Scrubbing away with relish, 
knowing adventures beyond local shores are imminent.

I’m still that girl
In awe with a room of my own. 
At night times the friendly rotation of the lighthouse beam 
gleams into my haven. 

I’m still that girl
With no sense of danger
Standing on the sheer slope of the tiled roof with my brother
Shaking the bedding with vigour
Admiring the view of the islands 
The blue of the sea greeting the sky.

A girl who takes a dare to dive 
Into waters unknown
Slamming my head onto the rocks in the hidden depths.

During my first outing to the countryside
The vast emptiness of a field beckons
Space limitless, eternity ahead.
Barefooted I race on, treading on the soil, 
onto the sharp harsh stubble. 
I bite back a scream, my tears. 
Turn around, return, 
my pride refusing to show my pain and trauma.

An inner pride and sense of strength
That remains.

I’m still that girl
With an insatiable thirst for knowledge, 

I’m still that girl
Teaching myself the piano, learning guitar, the music becoming an intricate part of my life. 
Not able to imagine a life without it.

I’m still that girl
Believing the best in people, seeing the possibles, the positives
Understanding the richness of forgiveness
Comprehending the destructiveness of hate and anger.

I’m still that girl
Trusting in love, family and friends
Exploring life beyond any confines
Searching beyond the physical realms of my existence.

©Annika Perry

My grandparents (Mormor & Morfar) started a family tradition when my mother was young of performing the song ‘Med en Enkel Tulipan’ (‘With a Simple Tulip’) on people’s birthday. My Mormor would sing and my Morfar would join in on the harmonica. Today, I want to share this tradition with a video of the song sung by Harry Bandelius. Enjoy and if you’re curious about the words, please click here to see a full translation.

159 thoughts on “I’m Still That Girl”

  7. Happy Birthday to your wonderful Mom! (I’m listening to the song as I type this). What a brilliant poem. And it’s so true – each of us is “still that girl” inside. I think I’ll use this prompt for one of my classes. “Write about the girl you still are.”

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    1. Pam, I feel honoured that you’re thinking of using this as a writing prompt for your students and think of the creative pieces you will have the pleasure of reading and sharing with the class. It is wonderful you like my poem so much and we are all very much looking forward to the celebrations. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. xx

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  8. We grow up in some ways but in others we’re just the same person with a few more miles on us 😄 I think there’s something really nice about that continuity.
    Happy B’day to your mom, Annika.

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    1. Ritish, that’s so true! 😀 It makes me smile how as young we never really think of our parents as young but then gradually start to understand and treasure this side to them – all the time aware of the growing dichotomy of being an adult with the child-self still within us.

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  9. What a beautiful poem to your Mamma, Annika. It sounded like your mum was someone who liked to get out there and take on the world while loving and trusting friends and family, knowing where is home. ‘I’m still that girl – With no sense of danger’ That’s such a bold character, ready for anything. It sounded like she had many adventures out at sea and fields and also found something exciting about chores. What a way to make the most of life. What a cheery song with the harmonica. It sounds like something to dance to and something people would clap along too and perhaps even cheer, wonderful for celebrating birthdays 😊

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    1. Mabel, thank you so much for your wonderful comment and I love how you see my mother through the poem. You’ve caught her amazing spirit perfectly with ‘liked to get out there and take on the world ‘ – that sums her up exactly. Haha! Listening to her stories I laugh and cringe at the risks she took but love that sense of freedom and adventure. One that took us here to England for a whole new life! I’m glad you enjoyed the song too, it has such warmth and love in the lyrics and it has such an uplifting melody. I haven’t seen anyone dance to it – yet! Who knows, maybe we can start a new tradition at the party! 😀❤️

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      1. You are welcome, Annika. It is such a pleasure to read your writing. Your mother sounded like a really interesting person who inspired with her zest for life. Will be waiting for you to dance to the tune soon 😁

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  10. She sounds like a girl I would have loved to have known, Annika. I’ll bet there was quite a lot of her in you as well. As for the song, yes, a single tulip/flower makes a wonderful gift.

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    1. Curt, I am sure she is someone you would get on with very well. Although an idyllic childhood surrounded by love the constraints island life as an adult ensured my mother left early on seeking life and adventure further afield! Aww … thank you and I think I definitely have some of her in me – although I probably consider risks etc a lot more in advance of action! 😀 I’m glad you enjoyed the song and I only added it as an afterthought! The sentiments are beautiful and loving – yes, a reminder that a single flower says so very much! Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Curt. 🙏

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      1. Sounds like me in terms of wandering, i.e. “You really shouldn’t take a year off.” I was advised. “It will damage your career.” I devoted all of 10 minutes to that thought. 🤪

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  11. I love every stanza of your poem playing tribute to your mom, Annika! She has such a cheerful spirit and always wanted to help. She also had such a fun childhood. I love this stanza:

    I’m still that girl
    With no sense of danger
    Standing on the sheer slope of the tiled roof with my brother
    Shaking the bedding with vigour
    Admiring the view of the islands
    The blue of the sea greeting the sky.

    It reminds me of my daughter and her friend climbed out of the window to get to the roof top and sat there to watch people going by. Our house in California was not by the ocean, though.

    Happy birthday to your Mamma, Annika! The music is so lively. Have a wonderful celebration.

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    1. Miriam, you’ve described my mother exactly – ‘a cheerful spirit and always wanted to help’! 😀 My mother tells of so many fun adventures as young when even the ordinary sounds fantastic; I didn’t want to stop writing the poem! Thank goodness your daughter and her friend were safe on top of the roof. There is such a sense of invincibility as young – as well as superb balance! 😀 Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Miriam. Wishing you a lovely weekend. hugs xx ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much, Ilsa and yes, from all the stories from my mother and her siblings growing up on the island with all the family and friends seemed idyllic, for the most! Even visiting there was always a joy and I loved the sense of freedom.

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    1. Astrid, yes, I do love my mother very much and it’s been a joy sharing some of her adventures as young here – I always feel as if even the everyday had a sense of being very special and happy!

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  14. I got chills reading your beautiful poem you wrote for your mother’s birthday celebration, Annika! It truly encapsulates her spirit and and love of life, her family and friends with so many connections and a pep in her step. There’s so much to love about this poem and I especially love this which reminds me behind every taxing moment there are gifts of the time well spent in preparation.

    “A chore is anything but taxing and boring
    As with enthusiasm we prepare the boat for family holiday.
    Scrubbing away with relish,
    knowing adventures beyond local shores are imminent.”

    The song is such so much fun.
    Have the very best birthday celebration and give her my best for an awesome time which she no doubt will have!! You’re a wonderful daughter!
    xx

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    1. Cindy, I’m tear-eyed reading your wonderful and warm comment, thank you so much! 🙏❤️

      I wanted to capture my mother’s nature and her adventures seems endless I could just have continued! Haha! Yes, ‘a pep in her step’ describes my Mamma perfectly, her positivity and love of life shining through each day. It is a great attitude to life when even chores are a joy – especially for adventures!

      Warmest thanks again for your thoughts, Cindy. hugs xx

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    1. Awww … thank you so much, Debby! 🙏 I was blessed with such wonderful stories to weave into this ‘song’, I like how you see it as such and felt that too a bit. Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Xx ❤️

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  16. This is a beautiful and deeply moving tribute to your mother. 🌹
    “I’m Still That Girl” captures her childhood, her spirit, and the essence of who she is today. The repeated line ties past and present beautifully, while the vivid scenes from starry nights to sunlit rooms make her life come alive. Including “Med en Enkel Tulipan” adds a heartfelt family touch.
    Reading this aloud will surely make her birthday unforgettable.

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  17. Mike's avatar Mike

    An amazing tribute to your mum Annika and a great ode too.

    Loved the song too. So jolly and uplifting.

    Hope your mum has a great day.

    Mike

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  18. How wonderful childhood is… your poem sings an ode to those precious moments most eloquently, Annika. You’ve brilliantly compressed the whole world within your words. Wishing your mom happy birthday and many more celebrations.

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    1. Balroop, heartfelt thanks for your wonderful and poetic comment! It touches me deeply that you appreciate the poem so much and wow, your sentence of ‘you brilliantly compressed the whole world within your words’ means a lot to me. I still feel I’m in the kindergarten regarding poetry!😀

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  20. I can see the beautiful childhood of your mother through your poem, Annika. “I’m still that girl” makes me remember my childhood, too, though a little different, but the feelings are similar. Amazing poem and happy birthday to her!

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  22. Med en Enkel Tulipan is old fun song that I remember from my childhood. Not because they played it on the radio but because my dad and my grandpa used to sing it. You wrote a great poem for your mom. Happy birthday to your mom.

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    1. Yeah! Thomas, it’s great someone here knows the song and that it was part of your family life. Have you shared this tradition with your own children and wife? Would your dad or grandfather play a musical instrument to accompany the song? It’s wonderful you enjoyed my poem and thank you so much for your lovely comment. 🙏

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      1. Thank you so much for your kind words Annika. My dad played a lot of instruments but I don’t remember him playing an instrument to this song, but I’ll bet he did. He must have at some point. I did not share this tradition with my wife or children. I don’t think they know anything about this song.

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    1. Audrey, thank you so much! 🙏 Her childhood sounds heavenly, the adventures endless, surrounded by the love and warmth of the family all pervasive. The sense of freedom on the island is amazing and I had a chance to experience it a little as young when visiting my grandparents.

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  29. A very happy birthday to her and what great sentiments in your poem. I said to two friends I have known since we were 6, recently .. we are still these girls… I think it is important no matter how old we are to remember that. xxxx

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    1. Shey, how wonderful that you and your friends are still in close contact and there are not many who know us from so young, remember the young us! It is a blessing indeed to have those shared memories, to carry theirs and our own within us.

      On the day we arrived in England, I was six, my mother met the neighbour across the garden and they had two girls just slightly older than me and we became close friends! we are still in touch! Even though we don’t have a chance to meet up often, when we do it is as if no time has passed at all.

      Thank you so much for your lovely comments and thoughts, Shey. Xx ❤️

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      1. That is wonderful you too are still in touch with friends from so long ago. I had these two girls..yes they are still girls to me… to a recent big bash party, also there was a girl I’d known since we were both born basically—a neighbour at that time, like you here and another girl, slightly older who became our next door neighbour when I was 5. The funniest thing was that I met the girl I’d known since I was born, having lost touch for years and years again at my best friend’s funeral. My best friend had talked nicely a lot about this girl cos of some family marriage/divorce connection. But I didn’t know this was the same person and between us we reckoned we knew what had happened to most of the crowd who grew up together except one. And that one was the one I’d lived right next door to. Here.. a few weeks later did i not get his message out of the blue on FB saying she had sung a song I’d written the music for on an album that was being done for charity….. So we got together and it just like we were never apart. Just like you say, we are girls again. She was like the ‘big ‘ girl and I was the only one she’d ‘lower herself as such’ to play with. We’ve since done a ton of drama things together. Isn’t it wonderful to still have these connections? AND I am glad you have them too. Especially when you left one life for another so young, xx

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        1. Wonderful for you, Shey and what serendipity!! I loved reading about your renewed friendship, precious indeed! I hope you have many more chances to meet up and keep in contact. hugs xx

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  31. Annika, this is such a beautiful poem/song you’ve written. And it’s obvious to me that you’ve inherited your mother’s sense of awe, wonder and love of life. I felt like through your words I was given such a vivid picture of her. Such a lovely and heart felt tribute. A very big and warm happy birthday wish sent to her with lots of love to you both. Enjoy the celebration. xx

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    1. Bless you, Miriam for your wonderful and thoughtful comment. I think it is important to see a whole person and memories help us achieve that. It is great that you caught the vividness of the piece as I was visualising every scene, almost as if on a film reel. It means a lot how this piece has touched you. You’re right, my Mamma has taught me a love of life, adventure, curiosities plus so much more- my risks at times rather worrying, no doubt! 😊 Thank you so much for your warm generous words and yes, we are all very much looking forward to the celebrations! Xx ❤️

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  33. I could relate to this post immediately because my mother and I had that bond of talking to each other (while we worked in the kitchen, for example) and those stories built a huge repertoire of memories that she shared. I can see that you had that with your mother. Lovely poem, Annika!

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    1. Anneli, thank you so much for your beautiful comment and reflections. It is wonderful that you and your mother shared such close times, the best of friends,, it sounds. Aren’t they such a richness and gems of life? The memories are so precious and help us see the whole person.

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    1. Awww, Jo, she very much still is so lovely and yes, over the years has and had a wonderful interesting array of friends – I’m lucky, my best friend and Mamma! 😀 Thank you and we will have a magical time, I’m sure. xx

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  37. Unknown's avatar Anonymous

    Annika, I just love this warm , happy and wild poem to your mamma. I feel

    joy streaming through. Are you going to read it at your party, or is it a private gift. I think you should read it.
    As always, your writing sings.
    Send your mamma Happy Birthday wishes from all us friends.

    ❤️

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    1. Awww .. thank you so much for your wonderful comment and it means so much that you feel my writing sings. Bless! 🙏😀 Haha! If the poem is wild, I think that’s because of the wild and free-spirit of my Mamma and my writing reflects her nature! Yes, I am hoping to read this at the party and we are all very much looking forward to the day. hugs xx ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much, Jacqui! Luckily my mother only lives a few miles from me and we meet up many times during the week. With the rest of the family further afield it will be special to have everyone together for the party.

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  43. Your poetic verse reads well as story. Much sweeter, heartier a read – much shorter and less clumsy a read than if done in ‘memoir’ fashion. I am enthralled with this woman, your mother. What a lovely lineage, Annika! The family tradition for singing that Swedish song is lovingly hilarious – what a delightful tune, carefree and so Swedish (which is part of the whole family tradition, of course!) ❤️

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    1. Laura, thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I wanted to create a poem effect with my piece here and tried to stop it drifting into the heavier prose – just think I got away with it! 😀 Oh, I’m so proud of my background, my mother, my grandparents, the family lineage. It is a very big family which feels very special. It’s lovely that my mother is keeping the Harry Bandelius song tradition alive every birthday for us – it wouldn’t quite feel like a proper birthday otherwise! Thank you again for your thoughtful words, Laura. hugs xx ❤️

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    1. Ashen, thank you so much! It is a gift to carry that child within us – and to treasure it always.

      How lovely that your MIL was Danish and was Farmor to your son. My son, nephew and niece all use the Swedish Mormor / Farmor as does my niece’s young daughter to my brother (Farfar)!

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    1. Thank you so much, Clive! 🙏 I am sure we will have a wonderful time and everything is almost ready now – it’s been a lot to get organised! I’m looking forward to the day now!

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    1. Georgina, I’m glad you like the song and for me it is so evocative! Our childhood memories seem to be some of the most profound and memorable of our lives, probably the most formative as well. Powerful, indeed. Thank you for your lovely comment.

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  49. How special. Your mom will love this. I have been reading my mom’s diary she wrote in from age 13 to 17. She also had 4 younger siblings that she looked after, and worked hard on the farm. I wish your mom a very Happy Birthday!!

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    1. Darlene, thank you so much! it must be special to be reading your Mum’s diary – I bet that was a tough life for them all but imagine a very close time for them all. My mother is one of five as well and it is great to hear about their escapades! When they are together in the same room chatting away one can sense that very special bond.

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