Huffing and puffing the monster roars towards him, the dragon festooned in belching smoke clouds. The sunny day is soon obscured with the sooty darkness.
On the railway bridge the five-year-old boy ducks up and down, jumping with sheer excitement and terror. He holds fast to the iron-wrought railings seeking safety from the exposed platform below.
As the behemoth nears him a terrible howl explodes through the landscape and he’s shaken to the ground of the bridge, as ringing seems to pierce his eardrums.
Here it comes, he mutters. His vision soon clogs with dirt and soot, the sticky blackness settling on his hand-knitted tank-top, on his shorts; his legs and arms quickly covered with an impressive layer of dirt. Even the thought of his mother’s despair fails to halt the epiphany of the occasion.
With his eyes agog, his mouth forms a perfect O-shape then he takes a deep breath and holds it as the beast passes beneath him, beyond him.
Shouting in exultation he suddenly coughs, yet he never take his eyes away from the roaring monster. He swivels and absorbs the magic of this surreal world, far removed from his family and friends. Just the beast and him!
A loud screeching of brakes cuts through the drama, his comforting sense of isolation crashes down with reality as the train comes to a stop at the station ahead and people swarm out.
Alas, the extraordinary scene slowly dissipates yet he remains enveloped within the ethereal cocoon of his first zenith of train experiences.
©Annika Perry, July 2024
image: created on bing.com using AI technology
Annika Perry 
The vivid descriptions and sensory details pulled me right into the scene with the boy, making me feel his excitement and wonder. The contrast between the intimidating behemoth of a train and the boy’s innocent joy creates such a captivating dynamic. I love how you captured the magic of childhood awe in such a powerful way—it’s both nostalgic and exhilarating. The imagery of the soot and dirt, combined with the boy’s unwavering focus, perfectly evokes that sense of wonder when the ordinary becomes extraordinary. Fantastic storytelling!
Wow! Thank you so much for your terrific and detailed comment! It is wonderful that you saw all this in my short story and means so much to me.
Holy crap, Annika. What an incredible and intoxicating story. I LOVED IT. I wish we somehow could maintain our innocence and sense of wonder as we become adults, but sadly, we seem to overlook the little things that ignited us when we were young. I do feel I’m getting better at that, though. I really, really loved this story. ❤️
Tanya, I cracked up with laughter at the start to your comment! Yeah! A writer love a reaction to their work and this beats them all! 😀😀 Thank you so much and it means so much that my piece has grabbed your imagination. I am also touched by your thoughts of the loss of wonder in adulthood. Maybe it is like a wave, that absolute joy of innocence and wonder, then the hectic adult life before we learn to appreciate it once again. Here’s to recapturing that awe once again! xx 💕
That lovely combination of wonder and fear, beautifully captured. Hugs, C
Cheryl, it’s great you feel this and just what I hoped to convey. Thank you so much! Hugs xx
This is fantastic, Annika. You really capture the little boy’s awe of the train. Great job!
Barbara, it was fun writing from his POV and capturing that combination of wonder and fear! The few steam trains I’ve seen have elicited a very similar sensation even in grown-up me! 😀So glad you liked the mini story! Xx
Yes, same with me. And I liked you AI image 🙂
This is wonderful
Thank you! 🙏😀
I’m reminded of the old steam engines that brought logs out of the forest in my youth, Annika. We were far too focused on the candy the engineer would throw out to us to enjoy the trains as we should have, however.
Curt, you have me giggling with your comment and in the midst of the amazing train loaded with logs young you focused on the sweets! 😀 What a unique way to receive some extra treats and no wonder you recall this so well! Can you imagine health and safety today and the fear of children so near railways line! 😀
Yeah, we had our priorities, Annika. Laughing. Oooh, health and safety. Parents would probably be thrown in jail for child abuse and the railway shut down! Not that modern parents would ever let their children have the experience. Sigh.
Sigh, indeed!
Delightful story!
Thank you so much, Dawn! 😀
You brought the experience of watching a train pass, alive with your words. There is something about the monstrous beast that amazes children. I remember watching it agog as a child.
Awww … Smitha, I’m so happy you feel I’ve captured and brought alive the excitement (and awe) of the boy as the train approaches. That wonder of childhood is precious and with such a mighty train, with all the noise and smoke, imagine the life-long impression upon a child! How lovely that you recall a similar experience! Many thanks for your lovely comment! 🙏😀
Oh wow Annika. You have such a way with words!
Bless! Your comment is much appreciated and glad you think so! 😀
Loved it, i could feel the steam condensing, the soot streaking down my skin like mascara in the rain.
Thank you so much, Kevin and that’s fantastic! 😀 It is great when a writer can carry the reader away with them in the story. What a powerful image of the streaked soot of ‘like mascara in the rain’. Terrific!
I love how you capture the sheer wonder and reality of the situation. Such rich writing, I was right there with him all along.
Deepthy, thank you so much for your insightful comment! It is incredible when you have wonder in reality and glad you felt as if you were there, viewing the oncoming steam engine!
I felt like I was right there with the little boy on the railway bridge. It’s amazing how some experiences can stay with us forever, even as we grow up and move on. I think that’s what makes life so beautiful, those fleeting moments of wonder and awe that we can always look back on.
I loved every minute of it! ❤️❤️🙏
Ritish, thank you so much for your beautiful and poetic reflections! 🙏I am especially moved by your words of the ‘fleeting moments of wonder and awe that we can always look back on’. Wow! So true and and those moments are a precious gift in life and always remind us to never lose that child-like awe and wonder even in the midst of chaotic rush of adult life!
Glad the boy had you on the bridge with him – mind the soot though! 😀
Loving the imagery in this piece! Xx
That’s wonderful, Layla! Thank you so much! 🙏😀
Excellent and interesting story Annika. I really enjoyed reading it and great to see your work again on this platform called “Jetpack”.
Also, a great description of the 1950s timeline and the boy starring at the train below who according to this blog post has sheer excitement and terror💯🙏
Take care and great title ” THE BEHEMOTH”. Great vocabulary as well like this word “Agog” 💯
Many thanks for your comment, Mthobisi! It’s fun to write in different timelines and the 1950s England is quite an evocative one with the old steam trains etc. You’re right, the boy’s emotions are a great mixture of fear and excitement, the latter overriding, I feel! I’m glad you like the title, it is a great word and ‘agog is fun too. I also think ‘discombobulated’ is interesting.
What kind of word is that?😂😂😂😂😂, “Discombobulated” what a word, it is a funny one Annika😂💯
Have a great Saturday👏
I liked how the vivid descriptions in this scene bring to life the sheer wonder and terror of a young boy’s encounter with a roaring train. The contrast between the sunny day and the sooty darkness, the boy’s excitement, and the monstrous train create a captivating and immersive experience.
The emotional intensity, coupled with the sensory details, made me feel as if I was right there on the bridge with the boy, sharing in his awe and exhilaration. How lovely!
Wow! Patricia, thank you so much for your thoughtful literary comment and I am touched by your words about the story! I love that you are with the boy, on the bridge. I am smiling how you capture the contrast, the sensory detail of the short piece and so happy this becomes an ‘immersive experience’. That is fantastic and just what any writer wishes for.
Btw. It took a bit of hassle to create an account with Spillwords but read your wonderful story and voted on it yesterday. Good luck. xx
Your story was picture perfect.
Thank you so very much for persevering, Annika. I appreciate it enormously.
I like this story. I remember as a child seeing trains on the tracks as they roared by, fascinated and fearful. Such a different way to travel.
Ally, it is a wonderful and heart stopping combination of fear and fascination, I agree! In the days of steam the journey on the train seemed to have been as much part of the occasion as the destination itself, now travel is just something to be endured!
Looks like your creative juices are flowing, Annika! Great to read your latest mini-story.
Laura, thank you so much for your lovely comment! 🙏 It is a delight when creativity strikes and was a joy to write this!
Fabulous! You put me right next to the boy. I remember being fascinated and impressed by those behemoths when I was a youth.
Those behemoths are awe-inspiring and even more so for a young child. Glad to have transported you into this short story and your past, Pete! Thank you so much for reading and your comment.
Beautifully written, Annika. Little boys sometimes retain their fascination with trains for their whole life. My sister and I had a train set, and our dad seemed more interested than our mom.
There are many moments of awe in the life of a child. I wonder how many have the potency to be remembered later. I think for me, it was one fairy tale after another.
Nicki, it is a blessing if a childhood can be remembered as a series of fairy-tales, the wonder of awe living long past childhood. It is wonderful it was so for you. Also retaining that inner child gives one continued ability to take joy from so much around us.
How lovely that you and your sister had a train set! I did too, a Christmas present one year which was my favourite present then. While my aunts and uncles looked on in bemusement my mother knew exactly that this was perfect for me. My brother was more into cars!
Beautifully told Annika. You took us along into the magical train ride. ❤
Welcome aboard, Debby! 😀 The more the merrier and so glad the story carried you away! Wishing you a wonderful weekend, my friend! Xx❤️
Ps. You comment had oddly ended up in Spam, hence the late reply.
Thanks Annika, Happy Sunday to you. ❤ As for the spam, don't get me started. I'm hearing that from too many about spam. 🙂 xxx
Hi, Annika- Your ability to create moving visual images through your written words is a true gift. You are incredibly talented.
Wow! Donna, thank you so much for your wonderful comment abut my writing – I’m beaming and your words mean so much to me. xx
🙂
That is beautiful writing. As kids my brother and I used to hang around trains, follow the tracks and see the trains pass by. By the way I love your book.
Thomas, that sounds like precious carefree days for you and your brother! You both must have had such fun and wow, what a feeling when the trains went past. So glad you liked the story, thank you. Also, thank you so much for letting me know and wonderful that you liked my book! 😊😊
I love your story and its accompanying image! There is something about boys and trains . . .
Thank you so much, Liz and it was fun to both write the story and create my first AI image! I know, boys and trains is very much a thing here too … and quite a few go on to model railways later!
You’re welcome, Annika.
P.S. I love your photography via Bing!!! Perfect!
Thank you, Rebecca. This was my first serious attempt to create an AI image for my blog but yikes, it wasn’t easy yet a lot of fun. Ten attempts, forty photos, one hour later I finally got this one! Hooray! I feel I could write a story from a selection of the rejected ones! A couple of poor young lad about to step in front of the train, another with his vest torn to shreds! Also AI perspective is often lacking to say the least!
I first learned of Bing via D Wallace Peach, Annika. It is not as easy as it seems, because I had to learn how to request a specific image. But I agree with you – it is a lot of fun to create use this platform!
Me too! Diana is a genius with her image creation and makes it look easy! It is wonderful how the community here share knowledge and help each other.
Oh Annika! Simply fabulous. Your description truly captured the essence and feeling of a young boy experiencing a steam train for the first time. I was completely engaged by your vivid portrayal in poetic words!!!!
Wow! Rebecca, thank you so much for your wonderful and thoughtful comment. I’m so glad the story captured your imagination and bless you for finding poetry within my words, that means a lot. Xx ❤️
Sending hugs along with my thanks!!
An excellent story. You captured the excitement of having a train pass under a child, perfectly!
It’s great you felt this, Darlene and thank you so much! 🙏😀
Lovely visuals, Annika. Well done.
Thank you so much, Lori!
There’s something magical about trains. Good story!
Absolutely, Neil! I just wonder if there isn’t more a sense of magic, wonder, nostalgia and romantic with the steam trains. As I student I seemed to spend a lot of my time on the diesel trains and it was rather disheartening and tatty! So glad you liked the story and many thanks! 😀
Excellent and splendid story Annika. The picture too is awesome 👍👍
Kamal, thank you so much and your comment means a lot! Yeah, glad you like the image – this was my first attempt to create an AI one useable for my blog and after many efforts very pleased with this one!
You are always welcome dear Annika. Very good attempt. Keep it going 🤗
Wow! So vivid, fabulous imagery Annika. You pulled me into the experience of the child.
Balroop, that’s wonderful and means so much to me. Thank you so much! 🙏 This was a lovely piece to write and I felt the joy and thrill of the boy while writing away! 😀
So well captured, Annika! Way to get inside the head of a young boy.
Betsy, I think in many ways the inner child is never far from me and it was fun to write from the boy’s viewpoint and capture his sense of magic at the train’s arrival. Thank you so much for reading and your comment! Xx
“I think in many ways the inner child is never far from me.” Good for you. 🙂
You have got inside his head. I remember doing that as a child in 1947
Derrick, how wonderful that this story captures exactly what you used to do as a child and so glad to know I’ve caught it just right! It must have been thrilling! 😀
Wonderful story Annika!
Thank you so much, Brad! 🙏
I can imagine the excitement and fear the 5-year-old boy felt, Annika! The train’s smoke, steam, rumbling, rattling, and whistling feel like a monster (a dragon). My grandkids love to watch anything underneath a bridge with excitement.
Miriam, how wonderful that your grandchildren are so excited to watch anything underneath a bridge. It is like another world and mesmerising- but often quite loud so they are very brave! It was fun to write this short piece and I enjoyed putting myself in the shoes of this five-year-old boy- I don’t think I would have had courage enough to stand their alone though! 😀
No, you don’t want to stand there alone, Annika! Perhaps the parents were around but just stepped back a few steps to take photos. That’s usually what we do.
What a wonderful story, Annika capturing the wonderment through a child’s eyes. I love how you added such beautiful imagery with the dragon and smoke. Sienna saw fireworks for the first time on vacation and it was a surprise even to us and I shutter to think how this will effect her as she’s been jumpy since. Great story! 💓
Awww … thank you so much, Cindy and I thought the dragon an appropriate child-like imagery. There is so much steam and smoke around these engines, and that’s before they even get going. My son was crazy about Thomas The Tank Engine as young and we went a few days on Thomas Steam Days. His face was a picture of wonder and unadulterated joy on seeing the ‘trains’ for real, faces on them and all! I learnt to wear easy wash clothes though!
Oh no, poor Sienna! Fireworks are okay when you know about them in advance and can make an informed decision whether to be near them. Bless her and I hope she recovers soon from the fright. Being jumpy does not sound good. My niece saw garden fireworks when a toddler and thereafter terrified of them until her teens.
Thank you so much for your lovely and engaging comment, always a joy to chat here. Xx 💕
You’re so very welcome and it certainly was wonderful to add that imagery of the dragon which is a fav for kis. Oh that’s so sweet and so cool you had that experience and brought it front and center in his life at the appropriate time. I want to take the kids…, I just looked it up and it looks like it’s still happening? How cool is this!
I know it was rather unfortunate and I wish I had known as I would have discouraged them going. First impressions are the worst and stick with you. Awww your poor niece. We’ll have to see when fireworks rolls around this year.. yikes..
You’re so very welcome and thank you for yours🙏🏼💓
The magic of steam through a small boy’s eyes. Just wonderful, Annika 🤗🩵
That’s the joy of writing, Jo … seeing the world through other’s eyes. The purity and innocence of those magic moments as young are precious indeed. Thank you so much! 🙏❤️
😍
That was very good! I could feel the boy’s excitement and fear as the train rushed below him.
It’s quite a heady emotion, that mixture of excitement and fear and even stronger for one so young, I imagine! Lovely that you like the short story and felt the emotions of the lad! 😀 Many thanks, Ann.
Well done, Annika. Your piece captures both the wonder and the terror of the child’s new experience.
Thank you so much, Audrey and it’s wonderful you feel this in the story – just what I hoped to convey here.
Well told! I hadn’t thought how dirty that would be.
Quite! I hadn’t realised either until the first time I visited a steam train weekend run by a local group. Of course, I had to pop my head out of the window just as the smoke was at its heaviest and my face was full of soot! 😀
Just delightful, Annika!
Aww … thank you so much, Joy! 🙏
Hi Annika, this is a compelling piece. I remember standing underneath the railway lines when I was a child, and listening to the trains rattle by overhead.
Robbie, I like how you mention the opposite, standing underneath the railway bridge. Somehow that seems even more terrifying and louder! Glad you enjoyed my short story here and thank you.
🤗💖
Great capture of senses and emotions in this evocative prose poem, Annika.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and lovely that you feel this as a prose poem! 😀
You created a lovely evocative moment.
A historic early moving scene, film-clip (forgot who took it) framed a empty railway station. The drama was in the distant hooting sound of the monster 🙂 approaching until it finally arrived in the station.
Thank you so much, Ashen!
The film-clip sounds intense and atmospheric. It’s not the one where the first cinema-goers where so frightened it was real that they fled their seats in terror?
Yes, I think that was the story, viewers were scared the train would crash into them, through the screen.
You’ve brought back memories of when I was a little boy obsessed with watching the steam trains passing under the bridge near where I lived. Just imagine my excitement the first time we actually went into the station and I had a train ride!
Bless! That must have been a dream come true moment! 😀 I bet you were jumping up and down with excitement. Glad to reawaken these memories with my piece here, Clive. Are you still as smitten with trains?
It certainly was! I often used to go trainspotting as a kid, and remember Dad taking me to see the Flying Scotsman when it was doing its farewell trip. Once they went diesel and electric the attraction waned, and using the train for 38 years of commuting didn’t help!
Wow! I’ve only seen the Flying Scotsman at the National Railway Museum in York and it looks impressive. They have a video of it in action and wow, that is something special. It must have been amazing to see its farewell trip with your Dad. Oh no, 38 years commuting is a lot and no wonder took the excitement away from trains. I travelled a lot on them as student, the diesel ones, and they often felt grubby and tatty!
I looked it up. There are still trains using the name but the one I saw was a Gresley steam engine, which was taken out of service in 1958 and replaced by a diesel. I was 5 then, so that fits my memory. It was a fantastic sight, and to a little boy steam trains seemed so exciting: noisy and smelly, but awesome with it!
Wonderfully interpreted.
Much appreciated, Bernadette- thank you! Xx
What a delightful piece of writing!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Luisa! Xx
You’re more than welcome, Annika 🌹
A beautiful encapsulation of childhood: not caring about the clothes, just living in the exquisite moment, taking it all in, enthralled.
(WP sent my comment before I was finished.) I really felt like I was there as I remember moments like this from childhood. Wonderfully done, Annika!
Lynette, how wonderful that this takes you back and it must have been amazing to experience the awe-inspiring steam engines! Oh, childhood is great when clothes are secondary to all the adventures and absolutely, the magic and wonder of losing oneself in a moment. It is sad how as adults we seem to forget the knack to embracing an experience totally, united within ourselves to the exclusion of anything else. Thank you so much for your comment(s) – the WP gremlins will soon have me tearing my hair out! Xx
Your story is absolutely wonderful, Annika. I am totally enthralled and there, as the Behemoth approaches in steam and smoke, in noise of all kind. What a wonder for a child to experience and how you make me feel as if I was there – on that bridge, jumping with exploding with excitement.
“ just the beast and him. “. I love that line, almost peaceful in spite of the noise.
A dream come true.
Absolutely, Miriam! I wanted to convey that absolute thrill of just the steam engine and the boy – those moments when life lifts us beyond ourselves onto another plane! I love that you sense the peace in spite of the noise and just how I imagine the scene. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Miriam xx
How absolutely wonderful this is Annika, enthralling and capturing all the senses. Delighting in the joy that is childhood, magic and the mystery of the steam engine. Loved it!
Miriam, that’s wonderful, thank you so much! I wanted to capture that sense of magic and absolute wonder. During steam trains days out I often see guys totally besotted around the engines and I tried to imagine a first train encounter.
This is beautiful. I can remember very clearly when growing up the wonder of steam engines….travel was a joy back in those days.:)
Thank you so much, Janet! The steam engines just do seem to have such character, I agree. It must have been fun to travel to them – I’ve only gone on them special steam trains days at local centres!